monday, i’m in love

It’s been a busy week or so here. I’ve finished house/cat sitting, and am currently hanging out at a local hostel until I head off (which makes me feel like I am on holiday already!).

I’m off for a part of this week to Sydney this week for work, then back for a final week in Wellington. I’m on a plane to Auckland next Friday and another to San Francisco the next day! And yes, I’, still in denial!

Bon Iver – Discovered him by listening to his CD on my Air NZ flight back from Tokyo. Have purchased a ticket for his concert in Toronto in December! Squeee!

Cheese – I’ve been adding it to my dinner salads – and actually having the serving size, rather than the entire block.

Living with less – Yes I am down to my pack, smaller back pack, and yoga mat. I just need to get my pesky grocery bag full of random stuff down further. The less I take with me, the better!

All Blacks – I never understood the NZ obsession with rugby until this week. The entire country is behind them. The buzz is incredible. If they win the final, I cannot imagine what it will be like. I feel blessed to be here and to witness history. This is an amazing country.

No 2 Job – It finishes tomorrow night – yes! More time for saying goodbye and haunting my favourite gym classes and enjoying Spring, before I head to the opposite hemisphere.


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my body, my love

I wouldn’t go as far to say I’ve hated my body, but sometimes my thoughts have circled about it. Mainly because I thought it was useless, failed to function properly, and on the very very rare occasion people have been unkind about it (very very rare).

Today I did a circuit class at a gym, a hardcore one, like sprinting across the floor lugging heavy weights, sprinting back, doing a prone hold, burpees, and hauling about weight bags like I was rocky. I felt sick by the end, and I loved every damn minute of it.

My body has and does some pretty amazing things.

– I can outsprint a lot of people, a lot. Tiny girls that spend a lot of time on the cross trainer (to each their own), but yeah, their jaw drops every time I pass them during a speed session.

– I’ll pretty much give any workout a go. Last week I was doing box jumps indoors, misjudged and did some kind of kamikaze leap back and landed without knocking my self out.

– I’ve run a marathon, and except for the drink stops, I ran the entire way.

– I’ve run 4 half marathons.

– I can hold a full prone hold (plank) for two minutes plus.

– I can’t stand pull ups (my trainer tells me no-one really likes them – I seriously thought it was just me). But I do them every time during training, sometimes I need assistance toward the end, seriously do not want to fall off that thing and into the hard floor!

– I’ve completed 3 boot camps, like full on running in the rain at 6am whilst carrying a 15kg weight bag for a bloody long time.

-If I am having trouble with an exercise I will do the modified version, but I will ALWAYS try the full on version at least three times before I modify it. I’m rather stubborn like that.

-I’ll pretty much always smile during my workout, the only time I don’t is if someone is trying to explain something to me, and I’m concentrating on what they are actually showing me – and then I’m away.

– I love hill climbing in spin class. The best advice I can give anyone that is larger and is worried about getting into running is to start spin classes asap. They will build up your leg power in no time, but you need to go 3+ times a week – that’s what worked for me.

– I’m a strong swimmer. My ex used to not be that keen on ocean and open water swimming, so we used to go out and I would trail along behind and along side during training swims for a lot of the time. Or if she was closer into shore I would stand on the beach and keep an eye out and occasionally demand she get back in the water even it meant she had to swim along the shoreline for confidence. Yes I can be firm, but I’m kind about it! I did squad swimming three times a week in my teens, I’m a fish!

The most important thing I do is not judge people (and yes that does include the cross training gals). Don’t ever assume because someone is smaller, larger, or doesn’t fit the ‘fit’ whatever the hell that means that they are not capable.

None of this happened over night, it’s been really hard work, and slow, BUT it has paid off and I wouldn’t change it at all – okay maybe I’d eat less cake.

Do your best, give it go, and give yourself a pat on the back about the awesome stuff your body does and CAN do.

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in a spin

It’s less than three weeks until I leave. I’m the excited/denial/what on earth am i doing merry go round.

I’m busy meeting with old and new friends catching up, making plans for future visits and travels with them, drinking more coffee than normal, and my diary is crammed full of good byes 😦

Because work is more manageable now, I’m able to fit in lunchtime gym sessions, I haven’t had sessions this regularly in ages. It’s keeping me fit, and I’m not beating myself up over additional farewell drinking.

I had coffee with the person that broke my heart (it’s mending!) a couple weeks back, it was nice, but I sent them an email to let them know I can’t see them again before I go. That was really hard to do. I really miss them. But I need to look after me.

I finish up my most awesome house sit this weekend with the cats. And then I’m in hanging at a hostel before I head out (oh and a side trip to Sydney the week before I leave for work).

I’m trying to save every last penny before I go. So I can spend it on awesome things in Canada, oh and to keep me afloat until I find employment.

I finish second job early next week! I can’t wait. It still feels odd to have weekends.

Last weekend I spend time in Queenstown, as I had scored $10 return tickets, yes $10!

Before Sunday I need to downsize my goods, again. Forgot my yoga mat needs to fit in my pack…

A friend let me borrow his deadwood series. I’ve had tried watching it before, and never been able to get into it, but I normally have a two episode rule then I give up. But I kept going. I may or may not have watched an episode before work this morning, and got the bus in instead of walking in :-S

I trying to have fun, and get a kick out my last few weeks here, I really do love it here. But I want to try something different, I need to!

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thoughts on a saturday

i’m not made for drinking and late nights, but i had fun nonetheless.

apartment therapy is like crack (not that i have or want to try crack), but i do, want a fabulous apartment, and to live alone.

i know no one in toronto, and will therefore not live alone to begin with.

it’s my last saturday at second job, what on earth will i do with myself with an actual weekend.

must de-clutter more stuff, just a little!

i didn’t want to go to alcatraz until i knew the Rosenberg’s had umm stayed there.

although i’m not slim, because to running i no longer need to buy the large pair of tights. i have, and they keep gathering, ugh. must buy smaller!

cat watch is going well, we are all getting along, though for the life of me i forget their names every time, so i’ve nick named them speedy, tropicana cat, and the one that has the house.

i really like living alone. but i miss waking up/going to sleep with someone. this is most annoying.

i got my hair cut and coloured yesterday, both are quite suburban, and i’m not ready for suburbia yet. i did say i want a drastic change.

i had an organic cola with lunch. i don’t really drink soft drink or juice. but that cola hit the spot today.

i know zero, about the american civil war, so i’ve started watching a series on it. i will probably follow this up with books, lots of them.

i leave in 5 weeks, and still have a pile of books to get through. less internet, more printed word.

image via we heart it


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the drop out

Two weeks ago I decided not to go ahead with the marathon, actually my trainer and I decided together.

Reason? I am utterly burnt out. I’ve been working 6 days a week for the past year – sometimes seven days. I have completed another two half marathons this year, and trying very hard to make a new life for myself post break up.

We decided that leaving work, having a farewell, running a marathon and getting on a 12 hour flight to San Francisco in a three-day period was even by my own ‘do everything now’ standard – way too much!

I have no regrets. I didn’t want to get sick on my holiday (I spent half of my Japan trip with a horrid cold for the same reason). I didn’t want to get injured, or just not enjoy the experience.

Plus I really miss running hills! I know.

I did think about the half and the ten km race, but I would rather spend my money in San Francisco and run through the streets and up the hills there.

I’m going to spend my remaining weeks here doing short and medium runs around town, maybe even a long one. I’m even thinking of running the three peaks, I’ve only run one, and always meant to do the others.

Sometimes dropping out isn’t a bad thing, sometimes you need to put yourself first.

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one year ago today my life came a tumbling down as my now ex, unexpectantly broke up with me.

it was shit. and there is no 12, 20, 1000 step programme that will make it better, but here are 12, that got me through and continue to do so.

1. talk.

i had sessions with a psychologist, i had been having these previously to deal with other things (i used to be quite secretive about it, but you know sometimes you just need to talk about stuff and work through things). so we spoke at length about what happened and how to get through each day. if you can’t afford, don’t want to see, or don’t feel the need to speak to a professional, than just talk to someone. it is the best thing you can do. the best piece of advice i got was that it wouldn’t take time to get over things, but what you filled that time with, friends, cups of tea, nice things would make the time easier to deal with, so so true.

2. cry.

again, bloody important people. don’t bottle that shit up. because it’s going to come out. on the street, at home, at work, with your friends.

3. change your routine.

do not go to same places you used to hang out together – why? because it’s too bloody depressing. find a new cafe, lunch spot, bar, gym time. it will give you back a little piece of you. but don’t avoid them forever either, and if you do go back, take others, even if just for the first time.

4. keep busy.

especially in the first few months, rekindle old friendships, make new ones. get a massage, a facial, go to a play, watch movies (nothing romantic!). this is also connected to the filling space with good things.

5. wear colour.

i don’t know how, but it helps.

6. be prepared to get dropped.

by a lot of mutual friends. i’m still not sure how it happened, or why. but people chose sides, they do. it’s sad, and makes you die a little inside. but you know you are awesome, and it’s their loss.

7. play this, loud.

8. make plans.

before my ex and i got together, i was planning on going to canada, and then i fell madly in love, and canada got put to the side. i’ve never at all regretted the decision i made to stay nor do i have any feelings resentment about it either. but the i put the plan back in my mind after we broke up, along with many others. make lists of things you want to do, just you.

9. don’t be mean.

unless you were with some complete wanker. be civil. be polite. and act how you hope/want your ex to behave/talk about you. be awesome instead.

10. cut your hair, that is get a professional to cut it.

this helps. and it’s one of those times you can get your hairdresser to do whatever they want, a radical change because you need to break out of the funk. i got mine cut a few months later. it felt so good.

11. delete your ex from fb.

just do it. you both need privacy. it’s not personal, you just need to disconnect until if or when it feels okay to reconnect.

12. read this, i did.

some days are good, others bad, and some days well they make you smile and realise, you will be okay.

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monday i’m in love

I can’t believe it’s six weeks until I leave New Zealand. When did that happen?

I’ll be finalising my tickets this week, and will be heading to San Francisco on the way to Toronto! This will be my first ever visit to the USA, my passport is currently making its way back to me with my shiny US tourist visa in it!

Right, back to the love this Monday.

  • Read, remember and then print this.
  • Vist NZ, go on. Seriously I spend every single day on the website. So much so, my co workers think I should work for the airline. I LOVE air nz. Take note Air Canada, you have huge shoes to fill, huge!
  • Sas, and her list of awesome. I need to come up with one of those.
  • Toronto Alley Tours – will be doing this when I arrive.

What are you loving this Monday?

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